Fire Horse

happy new year 2026! looking to do the opposite of what i want to do! sitting still is fun but i need alittle more adventure this year!?!

Bach - Magnificat BWV 243 - Van Veldhoven | Netherlands Bach Society

ten years since.....

in a blink ten years passed some things remain solid, pure, unwaning...... like my heart although it maybe blind to the reality of change it's stuck in love Miss you always

It’s Fall of 2025

Once again , charlies cancer has returned. Chemo has been ordered- 4 sessions in the next 2 months. Next week will be the second session. The prostate cancer had jumped to the bone- the first bit of chemo seemed to have nipped it in the bud- but this summer seemed grim- however perfect the butterfly bushes filled in- the summer garden held many air Bee & Butterfly visitors yet none of my immediate family came / mom home suffering from hip pain & political malaise . The nights were fliied with an incessent cough, painful bones- blood transfusions and the kids thought I was projecting my negative vibes onto their father- yet I was merely looking for any sort of connection , or confirmation on my observations. No one else was consistently awakened in the middle of the night to hear the coughing, the pace of a 92 yr old. all I thought was it's back. Sure enough - did I summon this - NO. I did not cause this, nor can I control it . We moved the shop and the stress has been one after the next - yet somehow we get it done- the family is like a denim with the patch work strengthing the weakest zones... but I want to run away everyday- yet I don't. I sit thru the most heavy , stressful, uncomfortable moments- not just my sickly husband - but my elderly mother with her nasty hip and a most evil disposition. I tried showing up but the emotional abuse- I just shut down. This past week mom got a hip replacement- it was the first time I joined my sister in the city to support our mom in her updated version of self since july. Healing rehabilative Prayers to mom - More prayers to charlie - although the chemo seems to be doing the opposite of what it usually does. There is an appetite, a sense of betterment, weight gain and a healthy gate?!! Huh? The Dr.'s dont get it - one for the books. Just for today I rest in the things that make me happy. Standing barefoot next to my trees in our back yard- painting or practicing yang24 - making a pilates class in the middle of my day- or helping customers figure out their branding options & logo design. I don't have to worry about death - but I do. We all shed this shell at some point - I remind myself we r all connected and we r all eternal. I think about the many blessings that have touched my life and am forever greatful to the magical strawberry moments - like flower bud shells that resemble little bats and mysterious pebbles like crosses and x's that r my petrified tears - 100,000 eternal years beyond time - my spirit here - wrapped cozy in the cotton covers toe 2 toe - u never know - one moment to the next - life is a gift - maybe I talk about the past because I like to remember how I learned to navigate the city - I like to think I'm like Wendy from Peter Pan- but my heart is filled - like sand in a hour glass we flip it over to flow again