death-

I am alive- I watch the world go by- I like to do my job- I love making things with my hands. I like to be still in the routine- I feel like that old lady - I saw in Italy- at the local Pizza place- she wakes up early and does her job every day- missing no days- even if she's sick- day in - day out she shows up- she's plain- she's content- she works hard to provide for her family- her community her pizza is the best pizza ever. Do you think she worries about missing out on life? what does life mean.....? life - death- death - life FOMO- fearofmissingout - is a man made mental sort of masturbation-- Mental masturbation- 'MM" - more an more I am aware of the dead end road of dreary thoughts- what a waste of energy- however! my imnagination- my imagination is a completely different type of mental exercise- UNLIKE'MM'- THE ACTIVITY OF CREATIVITY the activity to create the active being in the now- is living- I may not travel all around to feel like I am life in it's fullest devotion. bloom where you are planted. f- fully o- one in m- mothernature's o= o no diode am i.

Happy Birthday Dad!

I want to say- "wherever you are , Dad, Happy Birthday!" I'm not sure why I get all fluffed up when people get excited about their own birthdays- something about maybe a feeling of expectation fills the air- and I am SO ill equipped- handling the pressure of an unfullfilled expectation muddies my ability to perhaps tap into some sort of authentic "gift" or what not leaving me holding nothing to physically Give- but maybe just my time. Or to bake a cake or such. For my own particular birthday- I want for nothing--- need for nothing----look for nothing. I feel a slight smile on my face- that it is the date that marked my entrance onto this physical plane. Just that in itself is enough for me. How could it not be for others? lol....HUH? Acknowledged or not- I am ok. Funny how some will reach out the night before or the day after- lol what? It all is a bunch of horse manure. SO on this particular day- my dad had entered this physcial plane- but is no longer here - so does it even matter- because really- I think about him everyday- and I see him in everything all the time. So truly my dad is always close to me- in my head- in my heart- living thru my siblings and our children. Love you Dad. Sept 14 1938