Monday, December 11, 2023

Thursday, December 7, 2023

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Thursday, November 16, 2023

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

NO FREAK ACCIDENT THERE

Just my opinion- but if you watch the horrific video- Adam Johnson was INTENTIONALLY Kicked- perhaps not to kill him- HOWEVER- I have never seen a hockey player kick another hockey player- like a Hong Kungphooie style Karate Kick to the throat- Adam Johnson was kicked in the throat- period. The guy who did it should be held accountable- He's "distraught". Well what the fuck dude> are you somehow surpirsed? Were you unaware that kicking your feet- up for your exposed skate to potentially hit someone is fucking careless and dangerous. What do you get paid for - if not to be mindful and to play respectfully- NONE OF WHICH IS SHOWN HERE> MATT PETGRAVE- YOU KICKED YOUR LEG UP AND OUT- FORWARDLY - INTENTIONALLY LOOKING TO "KICK"- WHAT THE AIR? You just murdered someone- it was an obvious, intentional kick movement- wether you were going to make contact or not is where this guy should never be allowed to play on the ice - EVER AGAIN> you suck. Adam Johnson will never play again and neither should you. Shame on you. The reports keep saying freak accident. SOrry no freak accident there. Watch the video.

Thursday, October 26, 2023

Renovacion

Feeling beyond grateful for all the work coming our way- however- I feel buried sometimes- I keep reminding myself- nothing in mother nature is rushed and yet everything gets done- I feel shallow but how does one drown in the shallow water- it is possible. I feel like I can hold my breath- & remain down in the dark depths- hiding from people- but i work with people all damn day- it's a discipline to allow yourself one day a week- or once a day to do one thing for yourself. For me this is pilates- it used to be AA used to be. but i will always be meshing and collaging I just completed an analog college but have to make some time to take photos- been working on that one for almost 3 years.... my mind will always be creating- my heart and my energy needs to do that to keep even keel, to me this is my breath- my reset- my renovacion. xoox

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Robin Givens

It was my first year at this new preppy private school called Mcburney. I was a 9th grader, in a new environment- always been hard for me to find my place amongst the many clicks and teams. Mcburney was a competitive school - the sports teams were serious- and the coaches made sure their athletes were close and driven. Well I guess that's irrelelvant because that makes sense for any competitive school- The whole Competitive vibe was never my scene. I love playing games- and my dad was definatly responsible for my athletic reverence. My mom raised me as a ballerina- so there was that.... but when it came to the guys checking out all the guys was a sort of sport in and of itself. I was liking this guy in my own grade- Mark Jerome. Well he liked me too! He was an original Mcburney student, starting in the 6thgrade- I was a "fresh"man- and so when Mark asked me to be his girlfriend- I said sure! Chris Peters had gotten kicked out- so that possibility dissolved and in a way, I was relieved, in a way, because Chris was a "bad boy"- I worked under his Mom, Tess', wing- at the book store, but as "bad" as the HighSchool Administrative;s said he was- I knew it couldn't be that BAD cuz' his mom Was GREAT! She helped me acclimate to the whole new world of Highschool-that job in the bookstore was a perfect hiding spot for me. Having Chris Peter's gone - All of a sudden a bunch of different "old timers" came forward as friendly and easy to get along with. There was Diane Nitray, Josh Barken, David Ownes, Jonathan Barnett- Sasha Waters-and Mark Jerome- they all were popular athletes or cheerleaders, but JUST KIDS. Mark was a freshman playing on the Varsity Basketball team - his entire life was basketball! I was the only girl that did not make the cheerleading squad cuz- I'm 99% sure - the Cheerleading Captain Pam- her boyfriend Harry M. - both seniors- he was making eyes at me in the stairway as classes changed. I thought he was so cute- well - too old for me- and too Much conflict....the competition was never anything I sought out- to me there was no competition. Maybe just another option? but getting back to the Freshmen locker room...... The Freshman locker room was on the second floor. Mine was next to Stephanie Givens- she was a grade ahead of me and a really talented, smart girl. Quiet, soft spoken & an excellent right guard. I was a guard too. I was trying to play basketball, but mostly I was a bench warmer. On the Court I became a super aggressive player & would foul out in like 5 minutes, which is so dyslexic of me- hahahahah..... I was the girl that made the basket but for the other team - yeh.:( BUT ANYWAY_ FRESH MAN LOCKER ROOM: Mark's locker came first- a few down was Stephanies and then mine- SO..... One day there was a Varisty Boys Basketball Game. It was a very Important game- I remember Mr.Dover told me to stay away from Mark until after the game. HAH!
SO basically, Mark scored the "last second" winning score & the crowd went wild. I was proud for sure... but seriously did not have any sort of perspective other then that was my boyfriend that won the game and can't wait to go do our homework together type deal. Everyone was trying to talk to him and I went on ahead, entered the hallway on the second floor- there is Stephanie and her drop dead gorgeous older sister Robin, looking at me, I think nothing of it truly, but they do not smile or even say hi. SO- as usual the vibe that makes me shy and turn in- I put my head down, & swiftly walked into the locker room- away from the very scary but pretty competitive vibe. I have to pass Mark's locker & out of the corner of my eye I see a whole bunch of "writing" on his locker - but I don't really look at it- Diane Nitray says,"Did you read Mark's Locker?" and as I walk over to read it - I hear voices out in the hallway- I scan quickly over the words- something about- You should dump your WHITE girlfriend and go out with someone more like me - did she mean black or varsity? > Because Mark's dad was white and his mom was black- SO WHAT-we didn't see the world like that- so wtf was she talking about - did she mean he's a varsity player so he should be playing with VARSITY chick like herself.... like I did not see this coming- Robin Givens was basically- opportunistically rubbing up on , like a snakey cat, the POPULAR VARSITY FRESHMAN THAT JUST WON THE GAME- Like dump ur girl and go out with someone equally as important. IMPORTANT DOES NOT = NICE. WHO DOES THIS? I WAS FLOORED_ Devastated_ and it didn't help that Stephanie was hardly phased by any of it. I thought she was my friend. Her sister outwardly attacked me- it was thought out, mean! I dislike saying it was racist- becaUse that in and of itself is racist. yOU GO WHERE YOU FOCUS. Mark always reassured me that he liked girls that were pretty inside and outside. Robin was not that. My trust was just starting to be built and now I was back to my old low self esteem- don't/won't ever fit in- feelings that I had struggled with since I was 3- not her fault - and I take responsibility for my part in it. Today I see her as she really was- and probably still is- A narcissist with a personality disorder- and a controlling mother that pimps out her daughter- I mean yes she has her own platform she created - maybe as thin as a sheet of ice- as thin as her genuitity is- BUT WHAT DO I KNOW- MY SHIT IS FROM 100YRS. AGO.I never knew her- never knew her.never even knew this chick that came at me? WHY: I was raised in the village- attended public school my whole life- We as a community were all just kids. That's how our parents raised us. JUST KIDS. BIG TRUTH HERE: My 6th grade experience was one of THE BULLY in full effect. NO longer JUST A KID- A JERK- Being that I acted on the coats of M.Drapkin _ no one forced me to be what I had become on my own- even if I was just mirroring someone else- I had no Idea the damage I was creating. Thru the dictation and utter obsession of my then BFF M.dRAPKIN - she baited me- hook, line and sinker- thru the entire gig of full force bully; predator-victimizer. Today I look back & hate everything she and I did to our classmates that year. Fully knowing what it is to bully and to be bullied I tell Ya! The 6th grade changed my life forever. My perspective of who I was and WHo I DO NOT WANT TO BE EVER AGAIN _ LIKE HITLER _ absolute hate- you know what they say about hurt people hurt people?!!!! WELL THAT WAS ME IN FULL EFFECT> and as far as the Drapkin sisters- They were dealing with their own demons- talk about fucked up mothers that won't let their kids see their father unless they pay up $$$.... My parents seemed mild compaired to the Drapkins; family wo's. But She and I caused alot of problems- not just for our classmates- we got a teacher fired- we were so fucked up. We destroyed property- M>Drapkin taught me how to put larger eggs into the smaller container and am so dyslexic and never connect the dots until after- We got busted for shop lifting- I had no idea why we were in trouble until the teacher showed me - You can Not put the large eggs in the smaller container and I was like WHY_ ahhhh becuase the larger eggs are more expensive OHHHHH wow I didn't think like that- maybe all the batteries I use to suck on - I always had bad learning problems/comprehension issues- The supermarket came to our school - cuz in 6th grade we were allowed to go shopping and then cook whole wheat pizza in the kitchwn there- a montessori school of sorts- City And Country on 12thst. HAD NO IDEA WE WERE BAD KIDS> AFter the 6th grade - It changed me forever, always treated everyone the same- I always felt like a minority in my own class- no one else's fault but mine. I have always been "colorblind"- My parents raised me with an open heart- and an open mind- not to mention shy people do not act the way Robin does/is! 3 YEARS LATER= NOW IN 9th GRADE - an anti-bully eyeballer I became- If I saw someone getting bullied- I was there to end it quickly- I had had a taste of it in 6th grade so I knew the fine line of where the bullies weaknesses lay and would expose them like when the sunshine disintegrates the vampire into dust. It worked - I was so happy to be somebodies savior if I couldn't be my own. ROBIN GIVENS WAS THAT PERSON- The MEAN GIRL- The Pretty Mean Girl- it's funny to me how this kind of person is so easliy victimized too- and please do not take this an twist it- No matter how much I dislike a person- no matter how wrong they treated me- I let that go- and just focus on the hope that this person change for the better- but unfortunately I either never stuck around to see the change or just let it go cuz it fulfilled nothing in my life / other then perpetuating being a victim which is not an option for me- I like to think I am not a member of the victim society eventhough I could def hold a chair there. And I do hope perhaps Robin has changed for the better TODAY> Would love to see if she recalls this event. Most likely NOT> Who's to say what their childhood was like- maybe like mine? I hold no ill reserve for this human being. But I do get a giggle whenever I see her on TV or whatever- like that "famous" chick bullied on me. Just recently I looked her up on instagram- I see people hating on her in the comments - firstly I am like YUP there it is- other people know her- the way I know her. but then again- she will be what she NEEDS TO BE with whoever you are cuz if YOU ARE SOMEBODY- Opportunist is one thing her mother trained her well in. Good Job RUthie- it's important to be nice- but to them it's more nice to be important. I hope you've changed - but somehow I don't think you have MS.ROBIN GIVENS SHE GIVENS ME THE GRACE TO RISE ABOVE CHILDISH AND RACIST WEAKNESS. Not that I believe she is racist- but she certainly is a good actress- she's got them all fooled. I wonder if Cosby got something from Ruthie to ensure Robin's future. All quality people and choices that surround her - what an experience- this life of ours. we are all human- we are all created from the same gold dust- did you know when there's a solar explosion the particles are gold?

Friday, September 29, 2023

death-

I am alive- I watch the world go by- I like to do my job- I love making things with my hands. I like to be still in the routine- I feel like that old lady - I saw in Italy- at the local Pizza place- she wakes up early and does her job every day- missing no days- even if she's sick- day in - day out she shows up- she's plain- she's content- she works hard to provide for her family- her community her pizza is the best pizza ever. Do you think she worries about missing out on life? what does life mean.....? life - death- death - life FOMO- fearofmissingout - is a man made mental sort of masturbation-- Mental masturbation- 'MM" - more an more I am aware of the dead end road of dreary thoughts- what a waste of energy- however! my imnagination- my imagination is a completely different type of mental exercise- UNLIKE'MM'- THE ACTIVITY OF CREATIVITY the activity to create the active being in the now- is living- I may not travel all around to feel like I am life in it's fullest devotion. bloom where you are planted. f- fully o- one in m- mothernature's o= o no diode am i.

Thursday, September 14, 2023

Happy Birthday Dad!

I want to say- "wherever you are , Dad, Happy Birthday!" I'm not sure why I get all fluffed up when people get excited about their own birthdays- something about maybe a feeling of expectation fills the air- and I am SO ill equipped- handling the pressure of an unfullfilled expectation muddies my ability to perhaps tap into some sort of authentic "gift" or what not leaving me holding nothing to physically Give- but maybe just my time. Or to bake a cake or such. For my own particular birthday- I want for nothing--- need for nothing----look for nothing. I feel a slight smile on my face- that it is the date that marked my entrance onto this physical plane. Just that in itself is enough for me. How could it not be for others? lol....HUH? Acknowledged or not- I am ok. Funny how some will reach out the night before or the day after- lol what? It all is a bunch of horse manure. SO on this particular day- my dad had entered this physcial plane- but is no longer here - so does it even matter- because really- I think about him everyday- and I see him in everything all the time. So truly my dad is always close to me- in my head- in my heart- living thru my siblings and our children. Love you Dad. Sept 14 1938

Friday, August 25, 2023

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

It's summer 2023

This time last year, my husband- of 33+ years was battling cancer for the second time. The immense gratitude for all the prayers and support is beyond expression. Love is a roller coaster ride. INDEED< We have lost so many good people this past couple years- it's almost too unbearable to think about. But being"alive"- survivor's guilt? or what have you- the mirror that reflects back at me..... I am my Actions! proving all of the many choices I have made over my life time- brings me to my knees-wether my chararcter defects keep me at arms length from most everyone- like the chicken an the egg -which comes first-? my narrotic mind pushing most everyone away? My "Wendy Wheel" Of a Story tellers Imagination - the colorful misinterpretations and the way the part of my small mind believes these things- the way people's actions- mannerisms- words or there lack of- leave me reeling- or even better - the lack of my own communication skills ((((((((((((- WAIT_ that might be the issue- MY FILTER IS BROKEN_ so how much of it is really me and My HONESTY that keeps most away- like a nice bug repellent,IS THIS MY PART IN IT ALL?)))))))))?????? Last Summer when my husband's health took a turn- and I suddenly found myself- unable to multitask the world around me- suddenly paralyzed-by fear ? Or just STUCK? Cancer or CoVID? I no longer partake in any of the many things I used to do- wether it was the 24+ years of AA and my volunteer work there- or the few friends I kept up with - It seems more or less like anything on the outside world fell away & so did my interest to maintain any of it. This I only have myself to blame. I don;t appreciate that word- BLAME- how about I hold myself RESPONSIBLE for NOT MAINTAINING relationships, volunteer work, social scenarios-etc.... The love of routine, family life, the low maintenance that comes with this style of living seems to keep stress levels at a "managable" level. My new found love for Pilates has been huge in maintaining my own health- inside and outside. However, my imagination has always floated me! The hobbies that sustain me have been my felted critters, sewing, painting, logo design or just walking with my dog, & generally walking barefoot or plain old sitting in the back yard keeps me in real time. My love for my family- Mother Nature, my art work/hobbies- are all my spiritual glue. It's a blessing to see someone you love come thru the other side of chemo/cancer. I have heard it's easier to be the one that is sick rather then the one watching BUT I dont; Know about that. I don't think I would have done the chemo with so much Grace as Charlie did. I have watched cancer snatch away some of my closest relatives and friends this year. My friend Magda , "Nuni", had been battling cancer for many years. Magda was my babysitter when Suzannah was not available but sometimes they would babysit together. This was always fun! Suzannah had the loft with the bookshelf steps to get up- but not only were they stairs - they also served as mini apartments for dolls.... but Nuni had a really cool little sister, and her brothers were super cute and had the best slop ink graffiti pens you could ever lay your nostrils to. Recently, Magda and I maintained a connection- She knew Charlie was dealing with his second bout of cancer and Magda leaned on me when her Brother Geeby passed away from ALS> We both seemed to be on the same page as far as low profile, limited social media, and basic anti-social social club members! It truly is a huge loss - she helped me cope! Magda was a life long friend. But I truly believe- just because I do not get to "Physically "talk" to her anymore- doesn't mean she is not listening. I never stopped talking to her & hear & see her all around me. I just feel like this world is a strange place and most of the time I do not feel like I belong here. The many decisions that have to be made, there are only so many hours in one day. Thank God. Moving forward, things are always changing- wether it's within Mother Nature's dictation or a families need to stay a united front or a splinter of astroturf. The many seasons of my mind- my ability to maintain any kind of knowing for what rests beyond today- only elevates my anxiety- so I sit in today. Isn;t that the gift.? Sit quietly and breath- just for today there is no anger- no fear- no projection - yet my conditioned mind consistently visits that toxic place. A golden Cage and the pure luxury of thoughtless connectedness is where I prefer to be- most of the time. Is it fun to sit in a quiet library? the SIlence is the voice of many books - their language of incessent chatter.....

Friday, June 9, 2023

Where's the Whistle Blower when you need one....... WE THE PEOPLE

Got rid of the cable box- been acouple weeks, truly miss my oldies TCM channel, ch13- and the local news for weather etc nothing else but opening AOL email all day the headlines slip thru- MR.TRUMP is in the NEWS , lol.... all about private top secret documents ...... so it made me remember all my Love, NOT, For the Clinton's Hey did we already forget Benghazi? HOw WE, well go investigate who all was in the oval office watching IN REAL TIME our men get obliderated How Obama, CLinton, RIce, deploy, set up, and abandon our very own men? HOw does someone have so much luck when everything illegal just seems to go away- but General Petreaus lost everything doing that private server thing. she exclusively used a private email server during her four years as secretary of state. That revelation has spurred separate investigations into whether classified material was mishandled, including a continuing inquiry by the F.B.I. Have a secret server in the ceiling of a pizza shop? and the personal best of The Clinton resume is how they set up Haiti. How are some things just right in front of you- but you just refuse to see the facts for what they are- opinions aside We the people - of the United States of AmereKAHhhh.... the true slaves are ALL THE SUCKERS THAT ARE NoT: IN CONGRESS OR THE SENATE-
some political RICH ASS-NO NOT RICH BUT FLIPPIN' RICHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh -\ ABOVE THE LAW RICH. QUEEN OF ENGLAND RICH YOU KNOW- SO RICH - IT'S TOO HARD to DIG DEEP AND JUST DO THE RIGHT THING- ACROSS THE BOARD
WE= SOMEONE MAKE DECISIONS OF DESTRUCTION- OR MANIPULATION MAYBE THE CLINTONS ARE THE MOB FOR THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE VEIL? I MEAN SO WOULD TRUMP- ALL OF THE LOOK AT MISTER KERRY- HE'S A REAL PLAYER- JET SETTING ALL AROUND MAKING DEALS..... KEEPING SECRETS- DICKING PEOPLE OVER.AND OVER AND OVER ITS OK TO SET OUR CITYS A BLAZE BUT PEOPLE CAN GET RAMPED UP AND sTAND OR SIT A PELOSIS DESK- WHILE HER HUSBAND'S CRAZY ASS LOVER GETS BUSTED AT THEIR HOUSE WHILE SHE WAS OUT OF TOWN--- COME ON...... FOUND THIS ARTICLE- IF YOU DARE TO TAKE 5 MINUTES OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME, What really goes on beyond the veil? Continue to article content THE FRIDAY COVER The Friday Cover for Jan. 10, 2020 Read more Jonathan M. Katz won the James Foley/Medill Medal for Courage in Journalism for his coverage of the 2010 Haiti earthquake and cholera epidemic, and the Overseas Press Club of America’s Cornelius Ryan Award for his book, The Big Truck That Went By: How the World Came to Save Haiti and Left Behind a Disaster. He reported on the Clintons in Haiti for POLITICO on a grant from the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting. Follow him on Twitter @KatzOnEarth. It’s hard to find anyone these days who looks back on the U.S.-led response to the January 12, 2010, Haiti earthquake as a success, but it wasn’t always that way. Right after the disaster, even as neighborhoods lay in rubble, their people sweltering under tarps, the consensus—outside Haiti—was that America’s “compassionate invasion” (as TIME Magazine called it) had been “largely a success” (Los Angeles Times), offering further proof that “in critical moments of the history of mankind … the United States is, in fact, the indispensable nation” (Expresso, Portugal). As the latest release of Hillary Clinton’s personal emails by the U.S. State Department Monday revealed, that perception was not an accident. “We waged a very successful campaign against the negative stories concerning our involvement in Haiti,” Judith McHale, the under-secretary of state for public diplomacy and public affairs, wrote on February 26, 2010. A few weeks before, the public affairs chief had emailed newspaper quotations praising U.S. efforts in Haiti to Secretary Clinton with the note “Our Posts at work.” Clinton applauded. “That’s the result of your leadership and a new model of engagement w our own people,” she replied. “Onward!” But one person even closer to the secretary of state was singing a different tune—very, very quietly. On February 22, after a four-day visit to the quake zone, Chelsea Clinton authored a seven-page memo which she addressed to “Dad, Mom,” and copied their chief aides. That informal report tells a continuing story of the unique brands of power and intelligence wielded by the Clinton family in Haiti and around the world—and of the uniquely Clinton ways they often undermine themselves. First off, there was the secrecy. The memo—by a Clinton, with a master’s in public health from Columbia University, pursuing a doctorate in international relations from Oxford and with a prominent role at her family’s foundation—would have obliterated the public narrative of helpful outsiders saving grateful earthquake survivors that her mother’s State Department was working so hard to promote. Instead, like so much of the inner workings of the Clintons’ vast network, it was kept secret, released only in an ongoing dump of some 35,000 emails from Hillary’s private server, in response to a Freedom of Information Act Lawsuit wrapped up in the politics of the 2016 presidential election. Chelsea Clinton was blunt in her report, confident the recipients would respect her request in the memo’s introduction to remain an “invisible soldier.” She had first come to the quake zone six days after the disaster with her father and then-fiancé, Mark Mezvinsky. Now she was returning with the medical aid group Partners in Health, whose co-founder, Dr. Paul Farmer, was her father’s deputy in his Office of the UN Special Envoy for Haiti. What she saw profoundly disturbed her. Five weeks after the earthquake, international responders were still in relief mode: U.S. soldiers roamed Port-au-Prince streets on alert for signs of social breakdown, while aid groups held daily coordination meetings inside a heavily guarded UN compound ordinary Haitian couldn’t enter. But Haitians had long since moved on into their own recovery mode, many in displacement camps they had set up themselves, as responders who rarely even spoke the language, Kreyòl, worked around them, oblivious to their efforts. “The incompetence is mind numbing,” she told her parents. “The UN people I encountered were frequently out of touch … anachronistic in their thinking at best and arrogant and incompetent at worst.” “There is NO accountability in the UN system or international humanitarian system.” The weak Haitian government, which had lost buildings and staff in the disaster, had something of a plan, she noted. Yet because it had failed to articulate its wishes quickly enough, foreigners rushed forward with a “proliferation of ad hoc efforts by the UN and INGOs [international nongovernmental organizations] to ‘help,’ some of which have helped … some of which have hurt … and some which have not happened at all.” The former first daughter recognized something that scores of other foreigners had missed: that Haitians were not just sitting around waiting for others to do the work. “Haitians in the settlements are very much organizing themselves … Fairly nuanced settlement governance structures have already developed,” she wrote, giving the example of camp home to 40,000 displaced quake survivors who had established a governing committee and a series of sub-committees overseeing security, sanitation, women’s needs and other issues. “They wanted to help themselves, and they wanted reliability and accountability from their partners,” Chelsea Clinton wrote. But that help was not coming. The aid groups had ignored requests for T-shirts, flashlights and pay for the security committee, and the U.S. military had apparently passed on the committee’s back-up plan that they provide security themselves. “The settlements’ governing bodies—as they shared with me—are beginning to experience UN/INGO fatigue given how often they articulate their needs, willingness to work—and how little is coming their way.” That analysis went beyond what some observers have taken years to understand, and many others still haven’t: that disaster survivors are best positioned to take charge of their own recovery, yet often get pushed aside by outside authorities who think, wrongly, that they know better. Her report also had more than an echo of the philosophy of her Partners in Health tour guides. More than five years later, her candor and force of insight impress experts. “I am struck by the direct tone and the level of detail,” says Vijaya Ramachandran, a senior fellow at the Center for Global Development. But then came the recommendations—and a second classic pitfall. Far from speaking uncomfortable truths to her parents’ power, Chelsea was largely agreeing with their own assessments. At a March UN donors’ conference for Haiti over which Bill and Hillary Clinton presided, the secretary of state would tell the assembled delegates that the global community had to start doing things differently. “It will be tempting to fall back on old habits—to work around the [Haitian] government rather than to work with them as partners, to fund a scattered array of well-meaning projects rather than making the deeper, long-term investments that Haiti needs now,” she said, nearly repeating her daughter’s dismissal of the “ad hoc efforts” that had defined the early response. Bill Clinton had also long been scathing in his assessments of aid work there. As the Associated Press correspondent in Port-au-Prince before, during and after the quake, I’d followed him on his visits since becoming UN Special Envoy in mid-2009. In public, the former president called for better coordination between NGOs and donors. In private, after long, frustrating days in the Caribbean heat, he’d sometimes just go off, lighting into the nearest staffer about partners’ missed meetings and broken promises. The former president also loved to apologize for his own past actions—destructive food policies which flooded the Haitian market with cheap Arkansas rice, and ordering a crippling embargo that destroyed the Haitian economy during the reign of a 1990s military junta (some of whose members had been on the CIA payroll). Yet those introspections rarely extend to the present. As anyone who’s covered the Clintons can tell you, they armor themselves with staffers who hit back against almost any hint of criticism—especially when an election is near. The one thing the Clintons never seem to question is the idea that they, personally, should remain in charge. And that is precisely what Chelsea recommended in her report: “The Office of Special Envoy—i.e., you Dad—needs authority over the UN and all its myriad parts—which I do believe would give you effective authority over [the NGOs].” Her father, the former president, should be a “single point of authority,” she said—overseeing a replacement for the organizational system of government agencies, militaries and NGOs. The truth is that Bill Clinton was already by far the most powerful individual in this flawed system, with Hillary close behind. She was guiding the U.S. response as secretary of state. He was already UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon’s Special Envoy for Haiti, head patron of the Clinton Foundation and co-leader of the newly formed Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund. Weeks later the couple would share the dais at the donors conference, where governments and aid groups pledged some $10 billion for Haiti’s recovery. Her father would soon accept the co-chairmanship of the Interim Haiti Recovery Commission, the quasi-government body charged with allocating many of the funds. (“Finally,” chief of staff Cheryl Mills wrote to the secretary in a March 29, 2010, email, when news of the appointment leaked to the Haitian press.) The irony is that, after pages of scathing analysis about the failure of international responders to understand and respect ordinary people in Haiti, Chelsea Clinton’s plan would have created an even more powerful foreigner operating at an even greater remove. She did call on this new Super Clinton-led structure to “support the Haitian government,” but noted that it could only build “local capacity and capabilities, where feasible”—a logical loophole the U.S. government would fall back on time and again as it kept to old habits after all, including refusing to provide Haiti’s government with direct budget support. As it was, that personality-driven leadership style meant the response to the Haiti quake would focus on priorities set by those surrounding them, rather than those of majority of Haitians. The new email tranche shows how quickly the construction of low-wage garment factories and prioritizing exports to the U.S. market came to the center of the U.S.-led response in Haiti. That strategy, authored by economist Paul Collier, was what Bill Clinton had come to Haiti to promote as special envoy before the quake. Little more than two weeks after the disaster, Mills, a former Clinton White House counsel who became her point woman on Haiti, forwarded the secretary a New York Times op-ed by Collier and consultant Jean-Louis Warnholz rebranding the pre-quake strategy as a form of post-quake reconstruction. “He now works for us,” she noted for her boss, referring to Warnholz. The new emails also show how Hillary’s staffers brought former Liz Claiborne Inc. executive Paul Charron into the fold to collaborate with Hillary Clinton and Warnholz on helping to make the garment factories a reality. “As I communicated to Jean-Louis, I am happy to be helpful to you and the State Department on this project,” Charron wrote Mills in August 2010. Around that time, Charron made a key phone call to a former Liz Claiborne colleague now working as an advisor for the South Korean garment giant Sae-A Trading Co. Ltd., to encourage that company to come up with an investment plan in Haiti, the New York Times reported two years later. In 2012, Bill and Hillary Clinton attended the opening of the brand-new, $300 million Caracol Industrial Park in northern Haiti, with Sae-A as the anchor tenant. Today, there has been little reconstruction in Port-au-Prince. Most quake survivors have moved back into precarious homes, hoping another disaster doesn’t strike. The country is still being ravaged by a cholera epidemic that began nine months after the earthquake and has killed nearly 9,000 people. Both Bill and Hillary Clinton have publicly acknowledged this epidemic, unrelated to the quake, was caused by United Nations peacekeepers—who in turn, as Chelsea correctly foresaw, have been able to avoid any semblance of accountability. President Michel Martelly, who Hillary Clinton helped put in office as secretary of state, is struggling to hold the country’s first elections since he took power, with observers watching warily to see if he will leave office next spring. As for Caracol, the northern industrial park has created just 5,479 out of a promised 60,000 jobs when I visited in the spring, as workers complain about the long hours and low pay. Farmers who once tended land on the property complain they were pushed off without proper compensation (a claim the park’s boosters deny). Many of those living around the park now see it as the embodiment of the powerful Clintons’ disconnect. “They go to the park, but they don’t come to our village, because they care more about the park,” said Cherline Pierre, a 33-year-old resident who signs up would-be laborers near her home, a few miles from the park’s high gates. All a reader plowing through the email tranche can do is wonder, what might have gone differently had Chelsea Clinton’s insights reached more people in real time, and if the Clintons had applied more of them to themselves. “I wish this had been made public when it was sent,” Ramachandran said of the report. “It might have helped.”

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Thursday, April 13, 2023

hard day

Sunday, April 2, 2023

Saturday, April 1, 2023

Monday, March 13, 2023

Joan Hall at the Westbeth Gallery

Came into the city to visit my mom, as I have been trying to do , every first weekend of the month- Mom brought me down to view Joan Hall's Collage Show. WOW. I was awe struck, if you have time - go see it.

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Friday, February 24, 2023

Saturday, February 4, 2023