Every being or lifeform is eternal in its essence and evolves & changes on the outer sides or layers or material sides of its consciousness like the body, thoughts and desire. 

This outer part or detail of the consciousness is not even understood in physics, phenomenon of time, space and matter that is to say. The connection of the soul or rather its eternal and unchangeable part or layer of the whole consciousness to the world of time, space and matter is even further away from understanding except with symbols, and eventually later on, and only with self experience.

Penmanship

was organized to narrow the eyes vision- to block the third eye.

true wisdom comes from action....

those that can DO.

TRUTH

 My truth, 

The Truth

the way I am

how I am

it is who I am

feels overwhelming 

because the truth 

the lords idea that has dawned within me

 love - is how I choose to live

my symphony of projection 

in my multilayered dimensional tempo...

I am a mirror of the universe, of the mind of g-d.

YE: " telling the truth seems crazY in a world of lies...."

many years back I had expressed my disgust with Kenye West.

In the shift of his maturity AND Growth

his mind and words have grown into a braid of faith which has turned my head

and taken root in my heart.

We are all truth. So stop being haters- aligned with our government and media,

stop masking your pain - learn how to express them- rid yourself of this collective emotional baggage

Enable your mania to be buck free like the true mustang does....

Mother Nature is Bi Polar.... look at her weather patterns, what is "normal" or cookie cutter is actually the true slavery to the over all narrative..... 

media can cancel out people as well as the internal government & big brother etc etc.....

But if individuals could just KNOW WHO THEY ARE- the truth has no expiration date.

Lean in, Learn, embrace, sit, listen, do, create, repeat.......

Every time that I look in the mirror

All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
Oh, it went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way?

Everybody's got their dues in life to pay, oh, oh, oh
I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Storing facts learned from fools and from sages
You view the earth

Oh, sing with me, this mournful dub
Sing with me, sing for a year
Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Oh, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, and sing for the tear
Sing it with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream on
Dream on
I dream on
Dream a little, I'll dream on
Dream on
I dream on
I dream on

Dream a little, I'll dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
I'll dream on
Dream on
Dream on
I dream on

Chibbut ha-Kever

Aerosmith - Dream On (Official HD Video)

July 10 we all came into charlie's bedroom as we knew his hours were coming to a close- He was very aware, he was very awake, he had been spitting out his meds.....- I know he wanted to be "awake" when he died. The boys wanted to put on his spotify before they left for work, and sure enough 45 minutes before he passed, Dream On began playing, it made Zeb Mad- I told him there are no coincidences-  when my dad passed over his songs were RIPPLE and ROCKETMAN

so

 As my husband rest in his bed, somewhat sitting up , holding my hand and looking into my eyes- he passed over to the other side between 11:15-11:18.

I still feel like my life is a movie.

I have learned to see my world in the past year or two in the most clear way. This has only made my perseverance and sense of self stronger. Like when a Mantis sheds it's skin. That is where I am right now,

green and raw, I can only imagine what Charlie must feel like now. He passed away on Friday. It is symbolic to pass on a friday. 

by a thread

The "golden thread" The unbroken, eternal connection between earthly life and the divine. 

Charlie holds on by his golden thread. He has surpassed what Hospice thought was 60 days - here we are headed into July. No one knows what the heavens plan - but more then ever the gift of the moment, however brutal or sweet; rests the lesson of life. 

Surreal landscapes- of life after death swirl around my minds eye.

The fairy tales of never never land, 

The spirit of love, support and eternal life

 My brother showed up.

I am grateful for all that he does.

Last summer I took mom around for her Hip replacement surgery- and I feel for him.

It's not easy working within NYC..... traffic, cab $- walkers and now wheel chairs.

Bottom line- my brother showed up-

I love my brother.

Family is hard sometimes. Imagine the historical ancestry and its very own baggage that is within the particles of my own particles. That my grandmother's mother was unfit- so our grandmother was raised by her grandmother. My grandmothers- grandma was her adoptive"mother"

not sure what that has to do with anything- but my mom was a middle child- what does that even mean.

Chemo and radiation is completed today- prayers that she can ease into her later years with ease and grace,

as my husband eases into the concept of death. His anxiety with not being able to breath has reached new heights, he keeps asking over & over - what to expect. I wonder will I be this scared to die too. I mean I am not sure if it is fear that I am reading from him, maybe I will ask him later. We talk about all of it, just never asked that specific question. It's more like when you "visit "me- make it a whopper. 

I'm just grateful my back is feeling alittle better, And my family just for today seems to be working together. I wish for only smooth transitions for everyone.

Just put down the rope when it feels like a tug of war. Imagine death is just the beginning of real life.

The after life is eternal. Our spirits are held in the shell of this body- only for a short while.

 there is no guarantee in today's life- cancer or no cancer

the gift of the moment-

the power of others discontent can be enough to throw a tiny pebble at your windshield 

my brother had committed to our mother's chemo treatments- of which the last two appointments land this week, of which all of a sudden he is no longer available.

Hospice is at my house , with my husband, and I do have feel utterly overwhelmed, when the expectation of my presence for my mother's final 2 appointments- seemingly rests on my shoulders. No wonder my back is in full spasm.

Is it the dilemma of my centered balance that I do not know who I am - if I were to tell my mother no.

Is it in the dilemma of my ego that I care what others "think" so If I do show up- that makes me a "great" person?

the dilemma of not fully understanding the full essence of my truth.

That I need to make a decision to be one person across the board.

My organic analysis- "The Spine" - THE UPRIGHT ATTITUDE, or Philosophy. How we "hold ourself upright" as a person (our posture) 'means' to the Body/Mind/Spirit Interface SELF-OPINION..which is determined by our basic philosphy in life. Anytime we experience trauma to that philosophy or the self-esteem it gives us, we may experience a sympathetic change in the spinal bones.. leading to a wide array of pains, spasms, nerve flow abnormalities and other problems. The holistic recommendation is Philosphic review.. Looking for my possible out of dated ideas about ourselves, that the trauma points-out.. as well as any SELF ESTEEM problems we may be having. it's about OPINION AND SELF ESTEEM that influences your posture in life.