I WONDER ......where do you go¿

Visual Poet®¥ happens Upon a Deliver¥ ∂åY........

It is Weird....to be these things and do these things....it is weird

Alejandro's thought process
holds me in a sustained mental nutrition.
I find it interesting how I can become
overly needy in people that distribute
such nutrition. Am I so deficient that I
crawl to these types of Brains. I must be
more selfish then I realize or Perhaps
lacking in humility
to morph into an energy Vampire
or A MentallY Anorexic Stalker
grabbing around for new thought stances
processes and trances
like witchcraft my ego dominates
.................................
Perhaps my ego evaporates my
waters leaving me crawling to this mirage.
To remain balanced , and self replenishing
from my inner aquifer......
Like a camel, I must become.
TO give or To Take
To create or To fake....
It is weird to do these things that I do
To think these things I think
To become entrenched in the fascinations
of mental muses
I am a nuisance quite agreeably
hence
In my awareness I will sit
here quietly
observing
My sub-conscious tells me we are one.

Thought's are Particles ƒloating in the Air.......

The Night We Met Alejandro Jodorowsky

What a surreal Event indeed! My Universe put clues before me~
seeing to it that I was to become aware that Alejandro Was infact in NYC.



One late night, acouple years ago,
I had been introduced to his film, The Holy Mountain.
THE HOLY MOUNTAIN was a film that claimed my spirit. BIZARRE and Filled with Symbolism I was immediately intrigued.


Alejandro became one of my Fascinations. His Films put forth a thought process that perhaps could be easily misunderstood....or frowned upon,
Yet all it did for me was open up a whole new realm of thought and understanding.
One must CLIMB the mountain to enlightenment ,
not go through the MOUNTAIN to Enlightenment......
...I was touched by the way He seemingly exposes religion and spirit~
simple but so profound the way his surreal symbolisms
intermingled with the
Mastery of the Tarot call to my spirit. Awakened.




This 81 year old man proves to me that age is merely a number. His spirit and verve is immense... and when asked what sign he is
He says, I am the Zodiac!




The fact that my ten year old wanted to come was not easy for me. I was weary that he would be disinterested and nagging me to go home. Not to mention, if you have ever
seen one or any of these movies you may understand....soft porn, blood, and just complete chaos for a young mind....mindblowing.....BUT ZEB has a fondness for the TAROT....\ this was what he came to see!!!
He took a chance and sure enough he was allowed to look, hold and study Alejandro;s Deck.




The night started off with A very interesting vibe, sustaining.
Not only was it pouring rain. I made sure to get there real early
because in my self centered head ..IF I LOVE HIM EVERYONE ELSE MUST LOVE
HIM THUS EVERYONE WILL BE THERE>>>AND I AM SO GETTING IN>
Well, there was a large crowd and as it started to rain harder
the crowd grew larger. There were all sorts of characters.




Growing up in Westbeth and the West Village....
Around everything and everyone
My Dad being an Actor From Broadway &~LA MAMA to the Public theater....

From having to kick prostitutes out of my moms car that was parked under
the Westside HWY...
to Hasidic Jews trying to pick me up...

to chilling on stoops
or
sticking up for the nerds
(((('cuz; I knew what it felt like to become the victim
after spending a year under the thumb of girl that
taught me a good game of being the VICTIMIZER..)))))

or hANGIN; in abandon buildings on the lower east side
Getting numb

to cheerleaders bullying me
to JUST hating society
because no one was gonna save me
not even GOD>
and in his movies `one learns ~ YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF bEFORe
YoU cAn SavE aNOTHER!!!


SO GETTING BACK TO THE STORY......
This Man~:::::


WALKS IN ~drops his mac COMPUTER MANPURSE ON ME>>>>>as we are all directed to sit on the floor. DOES A WHOLE SONG AND DANCE WITH THIS HUGE GEM ON A ROPE KISSING ALEJANDRO;S
FEET ...

NOTE TO SELF:::::
I diverse.......
NOT even this DUDE would FREAK me into judgement
Perhaps the only thing about him
that I diSlike was perhaps the very things about myself
I need to Conquer and change...



1.His AttentionJUNKIE neediness
2.His wanna be ROCKSTAR STATUS
3.His need to give a material item to an Iconic Figure
((( I HAVE DONE THAT>>> ))))
I am aware that my opinion rests upon this brief encounter...


I am a mother of four with bizarre tastes and interests
My family and my children hardly share alot of the things I find
Intensely interesting or Valuable to our spirit
Often I go alone on my path
AN HEY IT"S ALRIGHT
I would like to think i am far from Co-dependent.


Well , this man was Alejandro's First BITE TO EAT,,,,,

I WAS HIS SECOND
Then ~WAS THE GLOVED MAN.....
THUS LATER THE MONKEY CHANT DUDE>>>>>

( this is the Monkeychant guy....he liked Zeb's question about the Third EYE.)



When I saY SLAM DUNKED or Eå†eñ >>>I MEAN....IN FRONT OF maybe 400 or more people...
ALEJANDRO RIGHT SIZED OUR EGOS:

that;s what He did! It's fair to say ~or from my point of view~ He simply called
it like He saw it!
I Adore Alejandro! He made it very clear from the moment He started that night....

He speaks how he feels straight up
like it or not,,,
He was coming from a place of complete RAW honesty~



I have been told by some
that My honesty is Painful at times,
others come to me appreciating my raw honesty ~

and
watching Alejandro in action
I got to see what it;s like
somewhat condescending, somewhat all knowing....
~thinking ~WHO MADE YOU THE VOICE....

I got a nice helping of Humble Pie that night.....
Being able to DISH IT OUT is one thing....
I suppose I am experiencing the fact that I can gracefully
take it
better then I thought
....I didn't get here overnight either....
Growing pains....


Honesty is painful
Honesty is humbling
and it;s beneficial if
it;s the Truth....
especiallY
IF....
If your ears are open
and your heart is centered~

The truth can be mind altering
Enlightening
and FUCKING EMBARASSING WHEN SOMEONE IS CALLING YOU
ON YOUR SHIT INFRONT OF 400 or moRE PEOPLE
especially WHEN IT IS ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY
or anyone for that matter...
reallY!

When Zeb and I shared our journey at Dinner the following
night.....
my skeptical husband seemed to think and say
"this GUY Alexandro Jodoorouchski
HOW EVER YOU SAY HIS NAME >>>Sounds much like an asshole!!.."
I think They would get along well!!!


and in the next Breath continued to criticize me
very much with the same words as Alejandro
Humbling once again, no less~ NOW in front of my three sons...
(One of them was out....)
I thought to myself, " OK UNIVERSE I GOT THE MESSAGE!!!!!"
...


BACK OFF....
I am feeling very much like I am coming into a new level of self awareness
where
HEARING People say what they mean ~BE IT mean or NoT
that
I am powerless over this
That I have the choice to take what I need and to leave the rest



That very often I have been aware of the two voices
within me
and to be balanced enough to understand
that painful ridicule/ rather
criticism
is sometimes a great motivator
to make change HAPPEN within oneself.....



I am not looking to prove myself~ or maybe this Blog is proof that I am.....
certainly not to the nutty dude above~
whom Zeb caught making faces and mocking me while
it was my turn to ask a question.....

((((((~Which I bet he was ,in fact, very pleased
that He was no longer alone
that his~ ATTENTIONJUNKIE ASS~ was now standing
next to the Second CHOSEN ONE OF THE EVENING)))))


The
CHOSEN ONEs Of Alejandro's honesty...His honesty doesn;t make it true
BUT....
in my case HE WAS RIGHT ON...in my opinion,./.atleast...
I can say his criticism of me was right on!
I am curious what the others thought of their servings of humble pie?!!

In some ways, this Wise Spirit ~OLD FART spits out HONESTY...
I dig honesty
especially, the kind that incorporates TRUTH
I respect it
And if Everyone spoke how they really felt
and allowed another's point of view into their brain....
what a weird interesting world we would have around us!


Perhaps the world we live in
today, where most of our fellow man
seems
turtle shelless
soft skinned~ weak earthlings

~That maybe if the truth was heard
or sifted through others honesty
~
this world would be alot tougher

Religions wouldn;t be competeing
Jesus wouldn;t be getting paid the way IT does
Starvation would probably be annihilated


The Jackalobe named
Jeffrey Hagerman
would have looked at himself in the mirror
along time ago ~WITH HIS SHEEP FOLLOWING BLACKSQUARE FRAMED 3D glasses ...he was sporting that night,,,,and realize he is a human just like the rest of US SHEEP
that he too needs to reprogram
just
As I was told to do......
The whole world needs to Reprogram their minds...
There is no right or wrong
There is no Sin





The churches created these ideas and words to keep
people living in fear
to keep the masses from doing what they could do
in seconds
BRING THE HOUSE DOWN
SHUT THE SHOW OFF
END THE MONEY MONGERS BRIGADES


If WE could just IMAGINE
If We could all just join together

WE SHALL OVERCOME
IF OUR TROOPS JUST STOPPED FIGHTING
IF ALL THE TROOPS FROM EVERY COUNTRY
ALL OVER THE WORLD JUST LAID DOWN THE GUNS
WHAT THEN???
IF WE AS BROTHERS AND SISTERS STOPPED BEING SO HARD ON OURSELVES
WE COULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER
THOSE THAT JUDGE LIVE IN JUDGEMENT UPON THEMSELVES IN SILENT
MIRRORS


MY CHILD Asked simple questions to Alejandro
We never discussed what we were going to do that night
or if we would even be able to talk
we were going to LISTEN to Alejandro Jodorowsky speak.

When Zeb asked if Alejandro believed in Jesus,The Holy Spirit and Heaven!?
I laughed because I wasn;t raised in religion and I do not raise my children
in religion.



I raise my children in the GOD/Goddess of the MotherNature, The Stars and the Earth
It was easier when they were smaller.
Today, Miles,18 was driving me to the store.
I asked him, What if we turned Kosher AND FOLLOWED THE TORAH WITH CHABAD.
He said NO WAY, he wouldn;t do it!~
That He liked being nothing...that He was Free.

We are all Gods Children. We mirror our spirits.
Someone asked Alejandro
WHAT IS HAPPINESS....
Happiness is to remember You are Happy.



God Made all kinds of people. We are all Gods creations.
No one is better then anyone....with their groups and their clubs
and their need to be extremely different : ) YES I AM WORKING ON THAT.



Perhaps Alejandro was feeling the energy Vampires in the first tier
around him....me being one of them.....
Perhaps his Ego was threatened by the "BIG EGOS" after all it takes one
to know one
Perhaps his earned years of wisdom gave him insight
and the RIGHT TO PUT THE CHOSEN FEW RIGHT SIZED
or
Perhaps He just needed to quell the energy in the front
because we were zapping the crap outta him
and HE SUCKED OUR BLOOD
TO VAMP HIS AMP
or perhaps I am over thinking the whole thing
which could very likely be the case for this here
Aquarian head...pragmatic pig that I am.

Our evening together , Zebber and Me....was a grand one.
I AM tickled by my reality ..that all the things I like,
like VIOLENT SOHOa band I dig,
Or Jie-Song Zhang
from the STONE FOREST ENSEMBLE
or The VEILS, or JIMI PAGE For that matter,.,,,,,anyone
I have ever wanted to meet ....my universe smiles with me
and grants me the love and permission to do and go
and be the things it sees fit for me
to experience and to my universe I am greatful
even if it means that ALEJANDRO NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION
HE said what he needed to me. I grew that night. Through
Truth, through others questions and answers.