VANDALISM IN VAMPdUALism

A woman that claims to lift you up while she holds your head under the water? There;s nothing worse than a narcissistic woman in her forties; Brings me right back to middle school. It's mind boggling , personally at fifty years of age how I could want to stick around for the abuse. One woman that has several other women wrapped around her tiny swollen finger, pointing and directing. I wonder about such a spell that holds others mesmerized. I have become blinded by this spell , yes I am guilty, but I have been slapped awake by the mistreatment. In the past, I sold out to lending an ear to ugly words being spilled forth about other women she has within her pack, thinking I was good enough for her. Just a tactic I fell for.In denial, that I am one she speaks of with ugly words to her troop. I am not good enough for her pack.(or rather too good, as I could never do mean to others.) She knows I see her truth. I was merely a tool for a short while. If you have something she needs ,she is ON YOU, sweet as tart can be. A TAKER OF ALL TAKERS. Criticizing how others are so cheap. Look in the mirror. As soon as she has utilized you all up & found a replacement , You will be tossed to the side- Not Out, only because she may need something from you in the future. If you can stand it, you stay and tolerate the ebb and flow of her inconsistent "niceness". It amazes me , more in which why I stay in such an awkward position. And for that it is on me. I take full responsibility for my part in this. It's because there's something I want that I can't get anywhere else. The mistreatment hhahahaha, yeh mAYBE! The way some one can treat another so vile one day and the next day as if she has always loved you~ leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. It is so sad to me, how women, like myself can stand around allowing this big head, tick, suck dry every ounce of integrity. She claims to empower women, and some she very well does~ but it is quickly cancelled out by the way she treats the other half of the women, how she throws herself into tantrums when things do not go her way, or how she will tell everyone your breath stinks ~ having all her flying monkey's covering their face as they talk to you. Flying Monkeys' , a term I googled one night upon which I returned home having just left the company of this woman, with an awful feeling in my gut. An inner voice that was screaming FLYING MONKEYS < FLYING MONKEYS go ahead google it,,,, I will tell you NOW... Wizard of Oz does not come up. I am more curious, more so, with why I choose to stay on the outskirts of this fake fake. I am no longer providing the services I used to, I have chosen to believe that what I am receiving as a freebie, is hardly that. The barter on a material level is fine, but when it turns into a weapon and becomes a tax on a spiritual level, I need to find another way to get my groove on. I want women to fix my crown not try to knock it off.