DEATH DATE OF A FRIEND

Got a 2 week notice that this new bldg. owner wants most of our shop space to put some kind of spray booth in? HUH , WHAt?!!! In a way it feels like a death date set for our beloved family owned and run shop for over 25+years in this location- Always struggling with the reality of my husbands cancer- eventhough it has been "cured".... Reminds me of my friend Kidon, weeks after he was declared cured- he passed away from this plain. None of it feels fair, said the spoiled old lady that is set in her ways. I day dream every damn day of specific "other" lifes I could have lived- that I may be living in some odd parallel universe- but We are the choices we make and at this very moment- marinating in all of the unknowns .... all that there is to fear is fear itself, Thought the old scared wise woman with four grown children and a cured husband. To know I do not know what I do not know. DO I want this new land lord to disappear- I sure do- Is she absolutely mobster ridiculous the way she comes around here- swinging her arms and pointing at all she is going to do and take away from us... and all she really has done is ZERO_ ZILTCH NADDA- she has a bunch of minions that come around and do a half ass job at that- it feels like magic and all I ask of the guardians is make it right. Perhaps for unknown reasons it is time to change this up. Where do we go from here> only the universe knows. I wish no ill will on any of it... don;t even know who we are dealing with- don;t want any trouble- BUT ARE WE EVEN ZONED FOR A SPRAY BOOTH STEPS AWAY FROM THE HIGHSCHOOL BASEBALL FEILD... HEY JANE BONNER WHERE ARE YOU... U USED TO COME UP AND DOWN RT.347 RAISING CANE... The town of Crookhaven - is someone in someones pocket... can I ask the guardians to cockblock this BULLSHIT> no why would I- let things happen naturally. That's the law of the universe. Let it happen naturally. Feel the pain, let it rise up in the well- because we are not the pain - we are not the feelings. Can you let it go? WIll you let it go? Let it go. Let it go, let it go. Aug 2 & Aug 4 will always be marked out in my heart- eventhough I found out about Kidon on the fourth of august. I will never forget the morning of the 4th., it's clear as a bell. Hair and scalp still filled with sand from the ocean- we spent this month with our father. He lived on 64 brattle st. Cambridge- tiny little apt. sweet as sweet could be. Larry bird, my dads cockatiel was awake and the phone rang really early - none of us were awake yet- I want to say it was around 9 am. But anyway, it was Kidon's grandma telling me about Kidon. Not sure how to feel about anything except numb all around... All around everything changes.Family dynamics change, business location changes, or ends, relationships change & continue- health changes and we continue or we end... but isn't an ending only another begining.. so cliche blah blah blah, yada yadda yadaH.... let it go LET IT GO... watch the string slip from my fingers as the balloon floats softly up to the sky- the heavens smile upon me- there is a plan- what it is I do not know but in the end- it will be what it will be.